MEN: Men's Reaction's / Safety / Health / Scary Thoughts of Suicide Observation

I've spoke to 2 men in the last year,

1 intimate, 1 just chatting, 

and I just am a little unsure of developments in terms of social character in society 

based around ego, money, status, manners, politeness and animal instinct and expression.

Over the last years, and when I was 21, 

in college, little life experience, everyone did, that is one thing, to be immature or silly or even reactive.

I get reactions. 

Pain and traumas are horrible and uncomfortable.

I get defence reactions.

Meannes or pain.

Always suffering relelated.

But inappropriate is inappropriate.

And it's been a record loop I observed tbh.

The undevelopedness.

Even in men with money.

It means and accounts for nothing in terms of safety, appropropriate action, and development.

Men have egos.

Women are smarter and have always been smarter and more mature than men.

Older in years.

Men and women help each other.

Learn, grow, be safe, be less extreme, develop.

For everyone's safety, and "normality", and their's too.

I am well aware Social Media has enabled the dark shadow triads in only but the majority of people, 

and when it comes to psychological developments or health or wound healing growths, 

most people don't, haven't, don't know where to start, have no leadership or relatable leaders helping people cop on or apply common sense or be "normal" and grounded.

There are normal, respectable, healthy, safe male "role models" and male representatives from their micro local level missing.

The work and money making is there.

Work status attainment.

But not in terms of character.

Safe, trialled, tried, friendly, relatable...

I mean just shown cop on.

I've seen ALOT in terms of psychology, people, traumas, statuses...everyone is just messy.

And it saddens me.

Not becuase of feelings.

Because of humanity. Men. Women. Kids. Families. Socities.

I know it the end of kaliyuga. The egos of everyone is in overdrive, acting up, dying, being purged and has to heal ans develop to keep up with higher consciousness times.

Developments.

I know I am missing a safe and regulated and protective male interaction.

I just feel I've met alot of animal acting ones.

And I don't judge anyone, especially becuase of times.

But the pent up ness of them is always known and not in the best and safest way for me.

I feel men (and women) know how to pretend in how to act, and are suffering deeply inside.

I know male high up global pressures.

Business demands, ways etc.

There is a need for relatable healthy model of both men and women and the showing of that and the being of that. 

Not the acting or pretend.

If I was to have gotten with a high profile man, and I hate fame, but I could have used that position to have shown and modelled something healthy for our country to see while everyone else is and was work focused.

I don't wish for pasts that didn't work out.

But the lack of male leadership in love and development and health and modelling and showing and being that is needed.

And the need to see that in a relationship and family and develop is too.

Healthy.

Role models.

Not a kardashian family business, because not that they weren't successful, it that it's work. Not being.

I'm 36.

I'm a woman.

I'm a tough woman.

And I can count the amount of time's i've been attacked by men, or experienced foul reactions related to rejections or no's or sticking up for myself and all went past the point of safety, respect, value gains etc.

All used their hurt to hurt me.

Or asked me highly shocking things and behaved highly reactive and bitchy or harmful.

And i'm a nice woman.

And that is it.

I'm a nice woman who has experienced abuse for being nice and feminine.

Being a woman.

What does that say for all previous women, Irish women, developments? 

I'm a nice woman, and I'm tough, resilient and no fool. And I'm still nice.

And I find nice is seen with mysogony, and actually actions taken towards the destrucrion of it.

Nice. 

In 2025 Ireland.

Nice is unsafe.

I've always wanted to be kept safe from wild and out of control people and reactions.

Instead my life has been a testiment that I survived everyone of my fears.

The same fears everyone else is humiliated and terrified of.

And it help's adult growth and strength.

But it feels like, I am the only adult and everyone else is a groundhog day repeat programmed player of atrocious playing.

The interactions I have had with men, have been awful. Very bad.

I'm not interested in dating women so it doesn't count.

But the fact that men have only ever made me feel unsafe, not in a work, human to human thing,  but otherwise.

Like no isn't respected.

Like boundaries are violated and tested.

Psychological, people play games and test uncomfortably.

Violators.

Unsafe men.

Testers.

Bitchy.

Violent.

Like are human's just animals and not God's!?

Not Jesus's?

Not divine?

I'm not scared of anyone, but people be scary in their ways.

And it's the unsafe thing.

Unsafe everything.

Workplaces based on beastly behaviour, beasts, same for home's, life.

I dunno. It's unacceptable.

Not legally standing or things like that.

Human wise.

Adult wise.

The CONSISTENCY of badly behaved men has been ovewhelming in terms of appropriate safe ones.

And i'm not talking about "weak" yuppies.

I mean men, strong and being able to have safe strong men standing up against and model and show better.

Better behaviours.

More adult.

More appropriate.

More value based and not ego based.

I never in my life wanted to be so consistently around badly bebaved people like I was an adult without choice.

I faced alot of my fears.

Doesn't make me happy.

It made me braver.

I'm just kind of disgusted and sad and unhappy at that expression of men, and sad for my community and society.

Because nobody is modelling it or showing it or leading.

Controllers don't model or lead.

And men need to see healthy men.

There is an abudance of rich men.

I said healthy men.

And women and people and relationships too.

Families.

I feel it a whimsy society.

Not a real serious one.

Not tough. Not tough and sticking stuff out.

Easy.

Not value gains.

Reactions and suppression of healthimess.

No healthy real outputs.

Like screaming.

I remember once me and my mam were having an arguement.

Me being about the truth, I called her on it.

Told her scream and stop whinging and moaning and stop wrecking everyone's head.

A wailing banshee ascended from her core guts out towards me and the whole room.

A wail.

It wasn't a scream.

It was a wail.

It was so shocking..there was a pause after it.

And then we burst out laughing.

I was still furious at her but it was funny.

People need to scream.

And be human and normal and healthy.

So much acting in our communities and socities.

People are dying.

This is the thing that worries about men.

Once I've called out all and any and most men at their bad behaviour towards me in a way that was honest and normal and made me feel safe, 

suicide has been those men's reactions.

They feel so shit about themselves.

Or get so down and depressed.

There's no replay from suicide.

I've lived through so much pain.

Men have too. 

But these men I stood up to becuase they weren't repesting me, contemplate death

due to inability to cope or heal or develop or process emotions.

I was tortured.

I had all fears come alive and undone.

But life is 1 life.

A gift and chance.

And the men's and people suicide thing is very guilt ridden for other people and no coming back from it.

Me standing up for myself left me even more vulnerable because I was frequently put in positions where men contemplated ending their lifes due to my response.

The guilt.

Families. Mothers. Parents. Lifes.

I've been tortured and humiliated.

And men and people are stronger than that and emotions pass.

But no one has leadership or people to show them or say horrifying and reality checks and 

it's all busines and money related not healthy and coping mechanisms and life sharing stories of encouragement and growth.

It's easy to hate a Hitler.

Not easy to suffer and go through no, 

but it is easy to hate an outsider enemy.

But what about life stories of sharing and showing strength.

Not always business reputations or affairs.

Real success stories of awful things and real things to not have people feel sorry for people and not medal victory laps of winnings.

But human justice and real depths of relatable stories of encoaurgement, coping mechanisms, real feelings and emotions.

RTE the other day put another scandal shaming doc on air.

🤷‍♀️

Gossip.

How and what about human overcomings and testiments?

Succeses?

Personal ones?

Life's built not to CEO level but life affirming and healthy and strengths on all levels.

I've survived torture.

I climbed out and pieced together something for a whole group's of people and industries.

Psychology wise, people's psyche worlds and health and processing worry me.

The suicide thought of doubt, when life is a gift and emotions are like the weather and pass by. 

The loss and pain for all over a transcendance and gain.

Transcendence.

Apart of old initiation's passages of human and adult growth and developments, 

was facing fears, wounds, hurts, pains, story telling, sharing, listening, learning, adding, transcending 

Jesus was so spiritual inclined he transcended death.

Emotions, traumas, wounds, can be transcended, not lost life to.

Not suicide.

Punishment camps, ways, systems, they have to go.

People and men amd women and psyches are being weakened.

Weak people create weakened everythings.

"Hard times create strong men, 

strong men create good times, 

good times create weak men, 

and weak men create hard times" 

– G. Michael Hopf.

I've been uncomfortable by men's unsafe behaviour towards and at me.

I've been worried at their reactions when I self respect myself.

The violence is weird.

But it's the suicide thing.

That worries me and I am unokay with that.

And guilt must be awaful.

My ex boss, her partner at 19 years, old country Ireland, commit suicide because he had a new born baby, a young partnership and his life became overwhelming.

I think.they had a fight.

He committed suicide.

You can't undo that.

It's not a broken chair or glass.

She was 19. 

A month or few months year old baby.

Even to this day, there are even familiy members of her's that hold her to it, 

like a net or cage of guilt and unhappy remorse.

And she has her own feelings without there's, never mind there's.

Doubled down repression.

Double down guilt.

Guilt.

Because of suicide.

She can't undo it for him.

He's gone.

She can't undo it for them.

He went & left.

She is left with his ghost of guilt.

Since 19.

She is carrying him and everyone else's blame, and emotions and guilt.

She eats emotionally.

It's not food hunger.

It's guilt. Pain.

No one or herself has ever released herself or unlocked herself from the guilty burden.

Trapped by his passing and her communities judgement.

She doesnt eat for hunger.

She eats to feed a comfort and ache.

The pain is as big as she has become.

And the man is gone and in heaven now. 

Celebrating soul life 30+ years ago.

She doesn't know that.

She is carrying his ghost of guilt, burden, blame, pain.

She is left to carry his cross too and his cross left 30+ years ago.

So suicide leaves pain and marks and tears and rips and alterations in communities and families also.

It's worrying.

The reaction to emotional life.

I've been tortured.

Faced fears.

Felt unhappiness.

When men and people think of suicide, I find it worrying.