RECOVERY: Omegas, Fish, Cake, Art and Clothes

Furthermore to brain and anxiety and trauma recoveries, helps and aids, 

Omega 3,6 and 9, in vitamin form or also eating or salmon and fish is SOO GOOD for the mind and brain.

And the brain is made up of a fatty organ and needs good high fat food and vitamins and nutrients.

Low fat or specific diet's can interfere and affect your brains and traumas ans injuries needs.

So my cake rewards weren't good for other health areas but fat and good fats and Omega fats most certainly were.

And fats, keep wrinkles at bay.

Smooth out the skin and body.

And when you are going through trauma and anxiety and recoveries, fats can be comforting but more so, the anxiety and recovery can be intense and taxing, with the struggling and making through 'wrinkling' l, but weight gain and fat intake's benefits you, 'balances' you out. 

Doesn't reduce the stress or passage of recovery.

Does bounce you up and take's a few wrinkle hits and keep you looking ok, just bigger!

Because the struggle is something and taxing and real to get back to good, like physiotherapy and an injury, takes body stressing and exercise and sweat and pain and tears and no go days and random illness or occurences alongside your recovery that you never needed on a good day never mind in a recovery period.

So it's impactful in terms of appearance.

But fat isn't feel good too much but is is saving and helpful in more ways than one.

And this isn't African and the First World at times is more allergic to fat or weight gain and appearances, than health or trauma.

In my first years with the overbearing anxiety, I couldn't sit with it so I had to work it off and through. Lost more weight I had in life. Got my body in the best shape and health of its life.....broken brain.

No joy.

Not working.

And the amount of people that got jealous of me went into overdrive, families and friends, because nobody tell's me I look good.

They get jealous of me and attempt at sabotage and hurt and pain and destruction.

Was I fit? 

Yes.

Was I happy?

Not one single bit.

Holding fucking on and no one to help me with solutions.

I just had fitness and phycical health, not head and answers.

I remember the images from those days in my head, like the UL Chrsitmas tree and remember exactly what I was feeling and thinking during thise days and everyone's reaction's and the take downs.

But I looked skinny.

Skinny and no other answers.

And then during the stressful excesses days.....Omega and fats became beneficial.

After everyone left or I walked away from them.

Apart of the humiliation I had to go through as a fatty healing in recovery maintaining wrinkle free existence post skinnyness and attacks...

As man who once fancied me, passed me by in his car, and slowed the whole way down and was gawking at me with his mouth open and sure what could you do but get over your own ego because I was recovering and in recovery.

That had to do with my limitations and ego.

I gave up caring about weight and I also wanted to see if I could eat everything I wanted in balance, and still be happy even if I put up weight.

The answer is no.

I was never happy with the weight gain but I was happy eating cake.

And I was happy recovery and needed the rewards. Like NEEDED! I had to have something to motivate me and get me through the recovery.

Pre Jesus! 🙌

It was facing all my fears and anxieties.

During the spiritual awakening too.

Finding better meaning and deeper and real meaning and importance.

Getting over superfisciality.

Facing it

But I noticed the wrinkles were kept at bay while under duress and stress.

And Omegas and fish were soothing for my fatty mind and brain and nutritious.

Salmon, makerel, tuna, Omegas from health food shops.

Brain first and trying to maintain weight but accepting weight gain to get my mind going great again and healing it and feeding it and taking the pressures and Fs given related to social conditioning off of me.

Health in all areas is nice, and things and ways have to be prioritised as stuff arises.

I had to prioritise and try to balance the realness of my situation and given up social pressures and conditionning was so freeing and liberating.

The less pressures of non important things, I had for recovery and myself and my healing.

I still liked clothes and fashion and dressed well and whatever way I wanted and becuase it was so existentially crushing and hard, I had to do nice things and even with weight gain, and in the world lock down, I dressed lovely for myself!

There were steps along the way when I was tested, crushed, further pained, tried to be prevebted from siccessd and feeling good or doing good.

Every one else in lock down was in leggings and I was in beautiful Mango dresses and feel good clothes to treat myself and keep me going.

I dressed lovely regardless of the looks of or what the people around me were doing and throughing darts at me.

I dressed for me and my life and what I wanted and felt.

I was told how men love skinny women and how women when they get fat get swollen and swelled up and had me face all this staying true to my cause and way and what I was successed and suffering and going through.

I was had peel the paint with my energy  and affect everyone in the room out of control anxiety and still stomached and sat through the humiliation and fear to face it and overcome it while many people told me how uncomfortable 'some people's' energy made them feel meaning me.

Many attacks and fears to stop me recovering or getting better or facing the next point through.

Or stopping me.

Or making me feel like the worst piece of shit in the world and I was trying and woke up and got up and was trying with my head in an injury state they knew nothing about.

No one.

I went searching for help.

So many doors closed on me.

It was me and my Maker, and some strangers or finds of lovely people along the way. 

I remember the weight of the stress in my body during those anxiety frenzied days, the look of and on my face feeling ancient.

So I had cake!

And cake I did have!

But I tried to get healthy and keep on top of it too.

But I had to prioritise things.

So Omegas, fish and feel good stuff helped brain injuries and recovery and maintaining my self, while having cake.